My last week in Tanzania in some ways has passed slowly, hour by hour, but at the same time it has flown by in the blink of an eye. After eight weeks, I feel ready to head home now. I feel very tired, although it is not from a lack of sleep. Each task here takes so much time and effort, and so often there is very little to show for it. More than I expected, I have found it to be a challenge to remain patient. I often feel frustrated and alone, because it is so hard to trust anybody I meet. Because of this, I know I must have turned away from many people who were genuinely offering assistance. But the loudest majority of people seems to see me as a walking dollar sign. This so quickly has overshadowed all of the beautiful things I saw when I first came to Tanzania. I know that people’s peaceful nature and the lively culture is still there—it has just become harder to appreciate.
I have to admit, I feel a little bit disappointed in myself. Heading home now, when I’m tired and frustrated, is like slipping out the back door, taking the easy way out. My retreat—back to where I’m not noticed, where we have such strong infrastructure in place for so many different services, and where I know I can count on them coming through— it would never be an option for most people here. But, I am not leaving Tanzania forever. I am so hopeful that I will be able to come back, and I know I will do things a little bit differently then. First, I hope to be able to live within a closer-knit community, to be able to make many more friends, and to learn the local way of life. I also hope to improve my Kiswahili so that I fit in a little bit better and can shop and get around just like those who live here.
This evening at my hostel, I met a girl who had just arrived in Dar es Salaam from London. Talking with her and explaining aspects of the city and the culture that now feel so natural to me, really helped me to take a step back to see how much this trip has helped me learn and grow. I am so grateful for the incredible experience I have had this summer, the people and places I have learned from, and the work I have been able to take part in. Although I am headed home now, I hope I will be able to continue to support the efforts that I have been here working for, online and by sharing ideas with friends and family. I hope so much that someday I will be able to return!
I have to admit, I feel a little bit disappointed in myself. Heading home now, when I’m tired and frustrated, is like slipping out the back door, taking the easy way out. My retreat—back to where I’m not noticed, where we have such strong infrastructure in place for so many different services, and where I know I can count on them coming through— it would never be an option for most people here. But, I am not leaving Tanzania forever. I am so hopeful that I will be able to come back, and I know I will do things a little bit differently then. First, I hope to be able to live within a closer-knit community, to be able to make many more friends, and to learn the local way of life. I also hope to improve my Kiswahili so that I fit in a little bit better and can shop and get around just like those who live here.
This evening at my hostel, I met a girl who had just arrived in Dar es Salaam from London. Talking with her and explaining aspects of the city and the culture that now feel so natural to me, really helped me to take a step back to see how much this trip has helped me learn and grow. I am so grateful for the incredible experience I have had this summer, the people and places I have learned from, and the work I have been able to take part in. Although I am headed home now, I hope I will be able to continue to support the efforts that I have been here working for, online and by sharing ideas with friends and family. I hope so much that someday I will be able to return!